Shamed

Sometimes Muslims like to get around and complain about how they are made out to be the bad guys, and how the media portrays them so bad.....heck one of my last posts was about the same thing, however sometimes I am so ashamed to hear the acts of other Muslims. I am not so ashamed at the fact that someone claiming to be Muslim does these things, because there are people from every religion that are idiots....however when someone USES the religion to claim somehow excuse there pathetic act-that is when I am ashamed. Recently there was a young girl in Yemen that died three days after her wedding, because she was so violently raped repeatedly by her husband.

A link to a news article here:

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/yemen/dead-yemeni-child-bride-tied-up-and-raped-says-mum-1.610450

To sum up what is there, a 23 year old man trades his sister for his friends 13 year old sister in marriage...to save money. The sisters where not asked their opinions nor had a say in the matter.

--there is the first thing that is against Islam, every woman has a RIGHT to marry or refuse marriage, as well as the right to a certain gift or amount of money that she chooses. I dont have a problem with a 13 year old marrying a 23 year old....as long as they are both consenting. We have 13 year olds having babies therefore I do consider that an age that is "marriageable" --IF THEY WANT!

After the marriage he tried to consummate the marriage but he couldnt. It doesnt say exactly why except that she refused his advances. So the man took his "bride" to the hospital to ask for tranquilizers so he could "prove his manhood"---yeah a man that has to drug a woman to sleep with her is NOT a man. It also says that her mother also visited and tried to coax her into letting him.

--I dont think I even need to talk about how this is against Islam, but I will. There is no time limit to when the marriage needs to be consummated, its normal in many Muslim countries for people to be married for years while the woman stays with her parents and they dont consummate it. It has to be consensual!!!!!!! NO WOMAN IS TO BE FORCED--EVEN BY HER HUSBAND...which actually he wasnt because she didnt want him in the first place, so legally he wasnt her husband to begin with. I dont even know where to begin talking about how sick a person has to be to drug someone to be able to sleep with them. I mean, if you want a woman to love you. It would be easier to spend a few weeks being gentle and kind and making her love you that she would willingly sleep with you than rush her to the dr. to drug her up. Also, why would the mother even know, these things are supposed to be PRIVATE, men and woman are not supposed to discuss these matters with others unless there is a problem---this wasnt a problem just a lack of feeling and compassion from a sick sick man.

So, he was refused the medicine. Thank God for that, however why was this not reported?? There can not be many people in the world who would find this behavior normal? So instead the man does the next best thing.....he buys performance enhancing drugs (why, would you do that when you cant even sleep with her without them???), goes home, ties her up and rapes her screaming. The next day she cant even walk and he carries her to the hospital, the doctors said she was ripped and he has to let her heal for 10 days. Now AGAIN, she is sent home with this sicko. Her mom visited her and found her in and out of consciousness and whispered to her mother what happened. The mother confronted the husband and he told her that the girl was "possessed" and he was going to take her to a healer later. She was dead a few hours later. Autopsy reports give evidence that she was raped further after the doctor gave the 10 day judgement.

--Even as parents you would let your daughter be married against her will, with non of the rights she should have been given, to find her in a state like that, HOW HOW HOW could you even go home?? How could you even let her out of your site?? Thankfully the man is now "in police custody" but who knows what will happen.

This kind of thing could happen almost anywhere, rapes and forced marriages, sex slavery, etc. is a world wide problem. However, the thing that baffles me is if this happened in another country, Germany for example....the police would have been notified as soon as the girl was in the hopsital, or as soon as someone found out that she was forced into marriage. Islam has liberated woman sooo much that I am FURIOUS to see that people would allow this to happen. Woman have so many rights in Islam that I am shocked and ashamed to hear that something like this could happen by people who call themselves Muslim. AND THEN they have the AUDACITY to say that its ok because Muhmmmad (Peace and blessings be upon him) married and 8 year old so that makes it ok!!!!--If that is what they see when reading about the marriage of Muhammed and Aisha then they have turned a beautiful love story, a marriage that was full of love and respect into nothing more than the story we have read today. Making Muhammad equal to this man---IF a person says something like that, than I feel they have maybe left the bonds of Islam.

InshaAllah my next two posts will be womans rights in Islam and then the story of Muhammad(peace be upon him) and Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) to those of my readers who dont know.

My personal pregnancy test....

Sooooo.....A few days ago I was cuddling up with Rihem and telling her she is my baby (which she replies to: "AMANI BABY!!!" --the neighbor girl) anyway I was like, "but YOUR the baby of our family." I asked her if she would like it if mamma had another baby and she was all shaking her head yes and loving the idea of having a baby. I said that I want to wait a little while though but maybe after Rania is in school. Then Rania comes in saying, "noooo, I want that you have a baby now, when I am in school I cant play with it anyway". I told her even if I had a baby in my belly it wouldnt be here until she was in school anyway because it takes about 9 months for the baby to grow and then she would already be in school....and as far as I knew I dont have a baby in my belly. The she says,

"yeah,you can tell because your not all crabby and stuff....oh and you dont have a fat belly"

Funniest line all week!

Contemplating expanding

For a while I have been contemplating opening another blog (I know, I rarely write here, what am I thinking, get used to it, its me!) Anyway the idea would be a bunch of posts only about love in marriage. Now I dont think I am qualified for doing this, however I would ask people to send me ideas, quotes, anything they would like to share. Tips, secrets, things you wish you would have known, etc. However I would really need to be dedicated to it, and I would have to get help from others to send...........hmmmmm any comments??

Maybe I am just crazy, some posts on my favorite womans forum brought it up for me again. Ideas! Comments wanted!

Aww money cant buy love or...........

Yesterday was a beautiful day so I thought it would be a great day to start teaching my son how to ride bike. I shared my plans with the 3 and my oldest told my son, "you need to have balance to ride a bike" so he goes *all excited* "Balance! Yeah! Thats what I need balance.....Mom can we buy some balance today?"

Awwwww made my day! SOOOOO adorable!

Planet of the Arabs

WHY is it so easy to have bad opinions of Arabs? WHY does everyone get nervous when they hear that I am married to one? Why was there and is there no big fights about starting a war or the deaths of many Arab Muslims? Well, its been programmed in us since we were little. I remember being in elementary and someone was coming to talk to us, you know, I dont even remember WHAT the talk was about all I remember is them saying something along the lines of "in some African\Arab places they dont use toilet paper, instead they wipe with their left hand and eat with their right". When I first came in contact with Muslims and learned of their habits....yes what the man said was true, what he forgot to mention is that they wash with water, after every time they go to the toilet (#1 or 2) Muslims wash themselves with water and usually they do wipe, but its to dry not to clean as they already are. Hand washing follows of course! Who can forget "Not without my Daughter?" Still dont believe me?

Watch this:

*note, this is an extremely violent video, (viewer discretion is advised :) )*



Oh, and if anyone is interested there is a very interesting documentary called "Without my daughter" which is the father\husband of this story telling his side, which comes off as much more realistic (in my humble opinion)

Coming soon to a blog near you....

Everytime I find myself with time to write something, I forget what it is I want to write. Last night I made a big list full of some topics, so inshaAllah soon you should see some action!

The irony of it

I have been thinking of my German roots lately. I remember my Grandma telling me her father came to America when he was in the 6th grade. His mother was so strict with them speaking English without an accent. They left Germany searching for more religious freedom (being Catholic) in America. Now like over 100 years later in Germany I sometimes wish I could step through time and have my Great-grandpa give me a tour of his one time home. I wonder what he would think of his childrens childrens children and THEIR children coming back to the country of his birth, and speaking his mother language. I wonder if I have family here? Maybe that old woman who says good morning everyday to me?? I wonder if I am walking the same ground as my ancestors? I wonder if its possible to find any family here? What would they think of me, of us? Would they accept the American Muslim married to an Arab as a part of their family? Could they show me old pictures or letters from them? So many questions but so little answers. I wonder what he would have thought of me living as a Muslim here, although I am sure since he left for religious freedom maybe he would be happy to see I am free to live here and practice a religion that is so vilified. He was gone before the Nazis and separation and re-uniting of Germany. Did he miss home?

So so so many questions so much I want to know.

She summed it up

A fellow sister in Islam blogged about something and I want to link it here, please read it:

http://texaninuae.blogspot.com/2010/02/gasp.html#links

What I miss....

What I miss:


Family
Swimming
The sights and smells of Minnesota
Big family get-togethers
Friends
Hot tamales
Cheap maple syrup and peanut butter
Friendly strangers
English
English books
Stores open 24\7
Shopko (I dont even remember how to spell it!)
Buying all products in 1 store

Some of my favorite newish poetry (i.e. not classic)

Sensitivity

So....I have not forgotten you my blog and blog readers (not that you were soo worried). I just dont have very much time lately.....or anytime actually. Anyway, the last week the kids and I have all been a little sick, today I decided that the kids and I would watch a movie. First of all, we dont have a tv and the kids only watch then things when I play for them something on the computer, usually this is Calliou or Clifford or Islamic kids cartoons (Adams world, etc). Anyway we watched Homeward Bound, a movie I watched many times with my sister and brother also. This is a movie about 2 dogs and a cat who go through an adventure through the wilderness to try to get home, the scariest scene is maybe a cat that goes down a waterfall or a dog that gets hit in the nose. However, my kids are not at all used to tv, Rania broke out in tears about 3 times and I had to calm her down and promise her that they will be ok and make it home, she was really upset and worried about it. I really realized how tv desensitizes kids. I am so glad we dont have a tv. I have to laugh because actually I am also pretty sensitive to tv now. If I watch something really with a strong story, I will dream about it for long time and carry the story in my head also.

Anyway that was maybe random, oh well, its MY blog! HAHA!

Love means never having to say....

So here is a random marriage\life post that I plan to get out every now and again. I dont know who in the world came out with this quote but its WRONG! I believe its more like, "love means saying your sorry....even if your not". When your married (or really in any relationship) I think you really need to ask yourself, by "winning" this argument are we losing our time\love\etc? I mean, I do not believe that anyone should let themselves be run over however, what I am saying is why is it so hard to say those 3 little words to someone we love? I really think it takes a stronger person to just apologize and swallow their pride\anger than to be the one to hold out and win. I could go on about this some more but instead I think I will just end it with a quote from Muhammed (peace and blessing be upon him):

"I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.''

[Abu Dawud]

*Jannah=Heaven\Paradise

Food, Inc

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE watch this movie!!! I am praying I can get Dhia to watch this and switch over with me, I know we dont have the money, but if anything is worth the money, I believe our health, our childrens, and the worlds is a good cause. If you cant see this anywhere here you go:




There is part 1 of 6 you can see the rest there! If you watch it let me know in the comments!

No one should be forced

France moves closer to banning full Muslim veil

By ELAINE GANLEY, Associated Press Writer
Fri Jan 15, 4:55 am ET

LA VERRIERE, France – The man she married is French, her four children were born in France and she speaks French with only a trace of her native Arabic tongue. Faiza Silmi contends her clothes — a head-to-toe robe and filmy tissue covering her face — are the reason France has denied her citizenship in her adopted land.
The 32-year-old Moroccan may soon be facing an even fiercer blow. A top French lawmaker submitted a draft law this week that would ban such Islamic dress anywhere in public, a measure that would set a European precedent and trap thousands of women between their religious convictions and the law of the land.
"They say I'm too attached to my religion," Silmi told The Associated Press at an empty restaurant near her home southwest of Paris, her large eyes peering from a slit in her veil. "Lots of Christians live in Morocco and we don't make them wear scarves."
Unlike Muslim headscarves, full-body, face-covering robes are a rare sight in the streets of France, home to an estimated 5 million Muslims, the largest such population in western Europe. France's main Muslim leaders have declared that Islam does not require women to cover their faces with niqabs or burqas.
In a country whose national emblem is Marianne, a bare-chested woman, there is deepening concern over the all-encompassing garb, often black or brown and worn with gloves, attire typical in Saudi Arabia and the Gulf states. Here, it is widely viewed as a gateway to radical Islam, an attack on gender equality and other French values, and a gnawing away at the nation's secular foundation.
President Nicolas Sarkozy opened the door to a possible ban in June, telling a parliament session in Versailles that such dress "is not welcome" in France. A parliamentary panel set to work in July on a six-month mission gathering information on the garments.
On Tuesday, the head of Sarkozy's conservative UMP party in parliament's lower house, Jean-Francois Cope, jumped the gun before the panel's report was finished, and filed draft legislation on a ban. "No one may, in spaces open to the public and on public streets, wear a garment or an accessory that has the effect of hiding the face," the draft text reads.
The document cites public security concerns, thus includes all face-covering clothes, in a bid to head off challenges from those who might claim such a law would violate constitutional rules on individual rights — a major concern along with how such a law would be enforced. It foresees fines for those who break the law.
The initiative, unlikely to go to debate before spring, would be the second time France targets Muslim dress. A 2004 law born in acrimony bans Muslim headscarves and other "ostentatious" religious symbols in the classrooms of French public schools. Sarkozy's party dominates parliament and the president reiterated Wednesday his wish for a law on full veils, though it's too early to say whether it will pass.
Europe's growing Muslim population has bred tension across the continent. Wariness is pervasive since deadly attacks in Madrid in 2004 and in London in 2005 by Islamic radicals living in Europe. And some non-Muslims sense a threat by a foreign culture to their way of life. It took only four minarets on Switzerland's 200 mosques to push the Swiss to vote "no" to minarets in a November referendum.
However, France, which wants an Islam tailored to the West, would be the only western European country to target the all-enveloping robes and niqabs, the cloth hiding the lower face. "We're going to become the laughing stock of democracies" should France ban the clothing, said Raphael Liogier, a sociology professor who runs the Observatory of the Religious in Aix-en-Provence.
He is among critics who say a ban would be a violation of basic rights and "transgression of the fundamental principles of our republic."
Muslim leaders of all tendencies have warned that a ban risks stigmatizing all Muslims, and anti-terrorism judge Marc Trevidic told Sunday's Journal du Dimanche that a ban "will maybe push impulsive people to want to commit attacks."
However, Andre Gerin, who heads the parliamentary panel, says the full-body veil is an "attempt to instrumentalize Islam for political ends" via a "fundamentalist and barbaric ideology" that oppresses women.
Gerin, a communist who served for years as mayor of Venissieux, a suburb of Lyon known as a haunt for Muslim fundamentalists, insists the phenomenon is growing.
But at Friday prayers recently at a mosque northwest of Paris in Argenteuil, considered a bastion for Salafists who adopt a literal reading of the Quran, only a handful of fully veiled women were seen. Some expressed fear of a ban.
"We won't be able to leave the house," said Oumeima Naceri, a 19-year-old convert draped in black garments, including a filmy "sitar" veil covering even her eyes. "That frightens us enormously ... It's like asking us to go naked."
Official statistics on burqas are impossible to gather. A 2004 report by a French intelligence service put the number of women in full veils at some 4,000. More than a quarter had converted to Islam, some experts estimate.
Silmi, the Moroccan woman seeking French citizenship, began veiling herself completely only after coming to France in 2000. She said she and her husband Karim, who was born in Paris to Moroccan parents and has French citizenship, discovered a deepening of their faith through books and cassette recordings not available in Morocco. She insists her partner did not impose the veil on her — and says she is in the process of divorcing him after 10 years of marriage.
Silmi was refused French citizenship for what authorities said was her failure to assimilate into French culture. Assimilation is most often defined by a candidate's ability to speak French, though not in her case.
In each of three reports following interviews with Silmi, officials described her clothing. Her pro bono lawyer, Ronald Sokol, an American living in France, said that is what kept her from becoming French.
Silmi lost an appeal to the Council of State, in June 2008, which ruled that she "adopted a radical religious practice incompatible with essential values of the French community." She has now turned to the European Court of Human Rights.
"A woman must cover herself. It's writtem in the Quran," Silmi told AP.
Lawmaker Daniele Hoffman-Rispal, member of the parliamentary panel, said she sees women clad in all-encompassing robes on market days in her district in eastern Paris and is bothered that "they have a right to look at me ... see my eyes, my smile" but she cannot look at them.
But if a ban were passed, "Will we hire dozens of police to put them on street corners?" she asks. She worries, too, about women who could become shut-ins to avoid getting caught.
As for Silmi, she said she will consult a Muslim sage on the Internet about what to do should a legal ban be passed.
"If he tells me not to remove my veil, I prefer to return to Morocco" rather than break French law, she said.


--Just as no one should be forced to wear a certain kind of clothing, no one should be forced to remove it.

One mans garbage....

is another mans:

a)treasure
b)livelihood
c)next meal
d)all of the above


So, once a year in Germany (at least where I live) there is a day called "Sperrmüll" (müll is garbage) and its like any rest of garbage that doesnt fit in your garbage can or go into the other days (there is another day for electronics, and another for wood, once a month old papers, etc). Sooo its next Mon. and the race is already on. I see my neighbors put there things out already and I have already seen 2 people thoroughly digging through it for their next.....? On Sun. and Mon. I am sure I will see the normal barrage of huge vans with blacked out window from Poland roaming the streets looking for things to bring back to Poland and sell, or at the next flea market. Now, I am not saying I have never taken anything I have found on the street (sometimes there are some really cool things, like last year I found a scooter totally new but needed a new tire), however I wonder when you stop feeling ashamed doing it? I mean, the people are laying out their garbage and their are other people just standing like vultures around it ready to dig in through the bags. Now, I dont mean these are like street people, they just live in the house next to ours, but I believe they just are looking for some more ways to raise money (flea markets). I dont know, there is nothing wrong with it, but I am ashamed to watch it. I am ashamed to be a part of it, and I dont know if I find it more shameful to be on the side throwing out or the side taking in?

Another side effect of our engineered way of living:

Songs of love

I sing to my kids all the time. Since we dont listen to music (except for some religious things without instruments) anymore, I would say my voice is probably the biggest source of music they get. However it makes me remember my mom. I cant imagine my kids will remember my voice the way I remember my mom's. I dont seem to ever remember hearing her sing bad our out of tune. I also dont know if she ever knew how much I loved listening to her. (Hey, MOM, I loved listening to you sing, thanks for doing it!) Sometimes I am too worried about getting everything done that I forget doing the things that matter most, like playing around and singing with my kids. I spend so much time making sure they are learning all different things and teaching them, but I wonder if I am teaching them to laugh and have fun, to love enough. So today, in memory and dedication to mom, I will make sure to have some fun today just loving them.

Feeding my addiction

This winter in Germany has come more like a typical Minnesota winter. SNOW SNOW SNOW! I have never seen so much snow here last so long. Anyway, I have a new addiction that I cant shake, eating snow. Yeah, I know its gross, but I cant help it. I go out on the balcony in the night when no one can see and scoop up handfuls to eat when I am alone. In the summer I use a spoon and scrape off the frost on the inside of the freezer....I know its even grosser. Sigh whats a girl to do?

I lost my heart........

......in Heidelberg. Ahhh Heidelberg, how I miss you! The place where it all happened. My first place living overseas, met my husband, became Muslim. Ahhhh Heidelberg you will always have a special place in my heart. Anyway, there is a classic old song talking about the Romantic city Heidelberg here is a translation of the lyrics:

It was a summer evening,
Just twenty I had seen,
When I kissed ruby lips and
Hair of golden sheen.
The night was blue and blissful,
The Neckar flowed pristine,
It was then I knew, it was then I knew,
What all to me did mean..
I lost my heart in Heidelberg for all time,
On a balmy summer night.
In love head over heels, oh were she all mine,
And like a rose, her laughing mouth my light.
As by the gates she said: "Good-bye my lover,"
That last sweet kiss, it did confirm once more,
I'd lost my heart in Heidelberg forever.
My heart still beats on Neckar's shore.
And once again the vines bloom,
As then, on Neckar's shore,
The years have passed so slowly,
And I'm alone once more.
And if you ask this fellow,
Why he took none to wed,
Then I will tell, then I will tell,
My Friends, what to this led:
I lost my heart . . . .
Whatever happened to you,
Since you and I did part,
Oh Heidelberg of legend,
Oh city of my heart?
I went away and left you,
Left luck and happy days.
I long to be, I long to be,
Back in your arms always
I lost my heart . . . .

Oh, and just for your information, the Neckar is the river that runs through the city. You have to watch this video to see the beauty of this city, if you want to hear the song turn on your speakers, if you dont turn them off(HA!)

The blankets that cover

I see the faces of the people that pass by
their faces are white, and grey
the color of the earth on a snowy day.

They have blankets that they cant see,
covering their hearts, preventing them
from being free.

They remind me of the evergreens, drooping from
the weight.
The snow pilling on crushing, suffocating.

I love to shake them, free them of this burden.

Just like people, its impossible to free them all
but I have two hands, two lips and a toungue
I may not free them all, but maybe I can free some.

A waste

Uggg! This morning I had to go shopping, I brought the kids and the neighbor boy to kindergarten and left Rihem with the neighbor (the boys mommy). I walked the 15 minutes with them there then walked the 40 minutes to the library and waited for it to open (10 mins) then got some new books and went to go shopping. After spending like an hour shopping I got to the check-out and wanted to pay with my card. Dhia gave me the card before he left for Uni. and I thought it was the one he always gave me. Anyway, it wasnt, I entered the pin twice wrong and then called him, entered the pin, and had it blocked because it was entered too many times wrong.....so I walked the whole way home with no groceries and my whole morning gone. Bummer. Not only that now Dhia will probably have to pay a fee for having it blocked and I have to go again tommorrow. Double ugg!

New Start

Welcome and Salamu Alaikum

I pray this finds you all in the best state of health and faith. This is my new virtual home, I plan to update every morning. This is a place for my thoughts, various happenings in my life, ideas, poetry, favorite videos, sites, and anything else that I want.....please if you are reading, become a follower, if you dont have a google email then at least comment and leave your name. I hope this is an enjoyable time for all!